The Milk Thief - I am watching you

I'm back after a stint in rehab with Lindsey Lohan. But let's not dwell on the situation. I have more important matters to discuss than the diamond necklace hanging around my neck.


Gone to the fridge on the 3rd floor lately? Reached in to grab your carton of low - fat milk (well Weight Watchers are on a Monday) only to find the last little drop dripping at the end? Felt like blowing a fuse but restrained yourself as you are in work after all and it’s not exactly the place to go off on one (yeah right I hear you chuckle). It is with great dismay that I introduce the Meteor Milk Thief who has crossed path with nearly all our milk cartons on the 3rd floor.


Meteor Milk Thief or MMT as I like to call him/her works in isolation of any other colleagues. They work at all hours but always make sure no one is in the kitchen around them. They give no thought to the person who has actually paid for the overpriced milk in the canteen. All they want is just a "tiny" drop for their tea or their cereal.

Take Catriona for example, a hard working bread winner for her family. Catriona purchases her milk on a Monday morning from Superquinn as there is a 10 cent saving in the difference between there and other establishments in the building. Because the MMT has played with Catriona's emotions so many times, she decided that she would put a little note on her milk especially to the culprit. The milk held a strong "buy your own milk” sign. It was to our great shock on Wednesday morning when Catriona returned to her desk in absolute shatters. For someone had again taken the milk BUT HAD RIPPED OFF THE SIGN. That in my books is what I call a "complete piss take" and should not be condoned.

I was right at the scene and asked Caitriona what her feelings were:

“Milk may only be 69 cent but 69 cent is 69 cent for MY cereal not the thief’s tea”

Also on scene was Deirdre Currid who also has been affected by the MMT. In agreeing with Caitriona she added:

“Hands off my milk, I have a green belt in kick boxing and if I find you.....”

As you can see this is adding stress to all the department and the girls on the third floor are now making a stance. The message I give you all from them today is

“ROB ONE MORE DROP AND YOUR OVER”.